Family Guy Quotes

[Memento Mori]

For those of you who are Family Guy fans, are there any quotes that no matter how many times you hear them, will still make you laugh. Or do you just have any favourite lines. Post them here.

[Mule]

Lois: Okay here we go, "What color is a firetruck?"
Peter: Aww, oh God I always get these. Umm..okay..uhh..all right..firetruck..firetruck firetruck firetruck firetruck. What color are those red firetrucks? Uhh..Oh god I can picture them now...all red and everything.

The Animal Planet-parody that comes afterward is just so funny

[Rudolf]

Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket)
Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that.
Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.

[TombStone]

Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.



Stewie's Letter: Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie.
P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever.
P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.

[Memento Mori]

"Hey Lois.....Diarrhea".

[The_Führer]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUKFceTp9Os

Hilarious hahaha =))

[debo12]

"pow right n kisser"

[debo12]

Lois: Okay here we go, "What color is a firetruck?"
Peter: Aww, oh God I always get these. Umm..okay..uhh..all right..firetruck..firetruck firetruck firetruck firetruck. What color are those red firetrucks? Uhh..Oh god I can picture them now...all red and everything.

The Animal Planet-parody that comes afterward is just so funny

Heres that vid http://www.tv.com/uservideos/?action=video_player&id=JyZhxjqr5bsOvjHc
lmao

[TombStone]

Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.
Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance *******. That's just stupid what you said.

[Memento Mori]

Haha.

[deraleek]

Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.

[debo12]

^^ have u seen tho one were he was spankin her?

http://bebo.com/watch/3120260945
^^^Pow right n' the kisser^^^^

[deraleek]

laura bush killed a man....

[shifted]

this is a good one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqwFnyxu-OA

lol

[Slashe50]

Man: Ms. Griffin, what do you plan to do about crime in our city?
Lois: A lot.
(Crowd applause)
Lois: Because that's what Jesus wanted.
(Louder crowd applause)
Lois: 9/11 was bad.
(Big crowd applause)
Other Man: I can agree with that!

Video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YOh-rpvjYg

[FUBAR]

Quaqmire- "I felt guilty once! But then she woke up!"

Cleveland- " I am no meteorolgist, but i know its raining bitches!"

man there are so so many...

[elephant_man]

episode: peters daughter
meg is getting married and peter has brought the wedding cake....

Peter : Well Lois I got the cake, oh and they were all out of the bride and groom figurines so I got the Iron Giant and a courtroom doll that kids use to show where the molester touched them.

^^^^^^^ LMAO...has me in stitches EVERYTIME

[soulpimp]

Quaqmire- "I felt guilty once! But then she woke up!"

Cleveland- " I am no meteorolgist, but i know its raining bitches!"

man there are so so many...

wat eposide is that from?

Stewie: Uh, there's a half-dead-fat-man eating a dead-fat-man...am I the only one who realized? Oh, okay then

[FUBAR]

im not sure which exact episode.... i know the cleveland one was when they convinced Loretta to go back to cleveland , but he was fooling around with Brians girlfriend.

Quagmire one, i cant place he exact episode....

[Slashe50]

Brian: Over! (Pulls on cord and Stewie falls)

[TheHitMan]

Stewie:

"It's not that I want her dead, it's just I don't want her to live anymore"

[CMPUNK35672]

Brian walks into the room wearing a Christmas sweater

Peter: Brian, what is that you're wearing?

Brian: This is my Christmas sweater. You know, "Don we now our gay apparel?"

Peter: Well it definitely dosn't get much gayer than that.

[exel]

"Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually."
- Peter in Family Guy, Loaded Weapons

[greddie]

Meg: "Your a smart fella dad!"
Peter: "And your a fart smeller meg"

[deraleek]

Peter: "YOU COULD HAVE HAD BOTH!!"

[Drink_Gas]

Cleveland: Loretta won't let me keep white literature in the house

Cleveland: Brian can I talk to you?
Brian: Oh! I didn't recognize you without my girlfriend wrapped around your waste.
Cleveland: She and I are both to a point of great soreness. So we took a break. Listen, I just want to clear any bad feeling you have about me and Carrrlyn.
Brian: Huuuu, I guess it's okay. These are passing flings nothing to get upset about.
Cleveland: Good, because we're gunna elope in Hawaii tomorrow night!
Brian: WHAT!?!
Cleveland: You got a problem with that you can go fuck yourself.
(right before the "it's raining bitches comment")

Then later in the same episode when Cleveland asks Brian if he can identify a genital wort.