my first song

[zhade]

this is my first song but im looking at different techniques and ztylez for it and beatz :rock:

http://rapidshare.com/files/296040799/Demon_Inside.mp3.html

[kenz]

the beat was nice

i would make sure you practice your enunciation and take your lyrics more seriously

on a positive note, the delivery was cool, the rambling manner, almost as if you were thinking aloud was quite nice i thought

[zhade]

hell ya tahnkz and im alzo looking for zome more beatz

[Kenshi]

how long have you been rappin?

[mabrymusic]

i like the beat as well. as for the lyrics/delivery, it just comes off a bit conflicting. if you kept the same lyrics and had more of a menacing, authoritative delivery on the vocals it would probably keep with the vibe of tha dark melody. on the flipside, if you like more of that chill, laidback vocal you might want to change the lyrics a bit to keep things more consistent...

props for a first track though :)

[J-Do3]

I can't really say anything different from the previous comments. I agree with mega as far as the mumble like delivery, but it needs to sound more natural, like you need to get more comfortable behind the mic or something. The flow's not what I'm used to as far as how you decided to take it, but it worked. It was a very nice beat choice, and the content matched it well. The main thing you need to work on is your comfort when it comes to rapping, but that comes with time and confidence so you shouldn't worry too much about that. Overall not bad for a first track. I might turn up the vocals a little though.

[Kenshi]

yeah i agree with j that is why i asked you how long you have been rapping cuz i didnt notice the "first song" in the title. but yeah i would say not bad for a first song, better than my first. just keep practicing and you will feel right at home behind that mic and you will spit that shit like you mean it. and important thing is make sure to emphasize your words because they might not be as clear to others as they are to you.