fatuma
23rd-December-2007, 02:16 AM
The Philosophy of Sex.
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy." -- Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex?
Me neither." -- Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand." -- Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on
Saturday night." -- Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase
sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is
the Mercedes-Benz 500SL." -- Lynn Lavner
"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation
at the taxidermist." -- Matt Barry
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
-- George Burns
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The
other eight are unimportant." -- George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake
whole relationships." -- Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter
she's reading." -- Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
-- Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where
he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
-- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think
Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it
as the only time of the month that I can be myself." -- Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-- Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing
in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental,
where, of course, men are just grateful." -- Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many
men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say
they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
-- Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men
think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
-- Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I
don't like and just give her a house." -- Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time." -- Robin Williams
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." -- Abraham Lincoln
"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them." -- Steve Martin
"There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that." -- Steve Martin
"Chastity...the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions." -- Aldous Huxley
"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." -- Lily Tomlin
"Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love." -- Woody Allen
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good." -- Woody Allen
"Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no." -- Woody Allen
"The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you." -- Woody Allen
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy." -- Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex?
Me neither." -- Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand." -- Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on
Saturday night." -- Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase
sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is
the Mercedes-Benz 500SL." -- Lynn Lavner
"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation
at the taxidermist." -- Matt Barry
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
-- George Burns
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The
other eight are unimportant." -- George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake
whole relationships." -- Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter
she's reading." -- Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
-- Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where
he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
-- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think
Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it
as the only time of the month that I can be myself." -- Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-- Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing
in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental,
where, of course, men are just grateful." -- Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many
men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say
they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
-- Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men
think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
-- Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I
don't like and just give her a house." -- Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time." -- Robin Williams
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." -- Abraham Lincoln
"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them." -- Steve Martin
"There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that." -- Steve Martin
"Chastity...the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions." -- Aldous Huxley
"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." -- Lily Tomlin
"Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love." -- Woody Allen
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good." -- Woody Allen
"Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no." -- Woody Allen
"The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you." -- Woody Allen